How to use your emotions to get what you want

This episode is not about turning on the waterworks, or expressing rage, as a way of manipulating people into doing what you want.
It’s about gently guiding your thoughts and emotions in the direction of the things you want.

 Welcome to today’s episode, where we explore how we can use our emotions as our superpower, as a way of getting what we truly desire in an easier and more aligned way.

Question: Do you allow yourself to feel your emotions?
I’m a very sensitive, highly emotional person.
I was very sensitive growing up and after having kids, I can feel all the feels, all the time—a total emotional rollercoaster. I can go from laughing to crying in a matter of seconds and feel the entire scale in between.
I used to think this was a bad thing.
I used to (and still do in many instances) lock my emotions down because I didn’t know how to use them as a way of building my business and life with more ease.
If you’re prone to pushing, hustling, and burnout, and are looking for an easier way to build your business so that you enjoy the process and get incredible results, I created this episode for you.

This episode is a combination of things I’ve been learning from a vast range of experts and things I’ve been testing and experiencing for myself.

I knew I couldn’t build Space and Grace Coaching the same way I’d built my previous business. My body and soul wouldn’t allow it, and I had to figure out a new way—an easier way that wouldn’t fry my nervous system.
It’s an interesting journey, and I’m learning heaps. My aim is to share it with you all so that you create your business and bring your unique genius to the world while simultaneously creating a magical life that you absolutely love.

Because when you do, these good vibes will ripple out across your communities and the rest of the world, and we’ll all win.

Most of what I’m sharing with you today I’ve learned from Abraham hicks in the book ‘the astonishing power of emotions’.

Abraham is a group of wise and unconditionally loving non-physical beings who project thoughts into Esther hicks who receives them and translates them into English so we can all benefit from their wisdom. Esther started doing this in 1985 so I’m pretty late to the party, but better late than never!

You may have heard this before and if so, just let it be a helpful reminder because it’s amazing how quickly we forget things when we’re busy putting out fires all day.

For some of you this will be new and pretty mind blowing.

And some of you will disregard it as complete bollocks.

And it’s all good.

You do you.

I’ve personally found this info really helpful and validating.

But I had to read the book a number of times to get it to sink in and it made my brain hurt, so I thought I’d do you a solid and simplify it in this episode so you can take what you need, and take what helps and supports you as you learn to build your business and life with more ease.

Here are some benefits you may enjoy by applying the ideas you’re learning here

Better Relationships: You’ll notice yourself showing up to conversations with way more patience and empathy. And when that happens, your connections naturally feel deeper and more fulfilling.

Improved Creativity: When your thoughts and emotions are in sync, it’s like flipping a switch—you tap into this flow where creative ideas just start coming to you effortlessly.

Enhanced Decision-Making: You’ll feel so much clearer and more confident in your choices because they’ll be coming from a place of alignment—not fear, or scarcity, or lack.

Increased Productivity: When you’re working from a place of inspiration, you’ll be amazed at how much you can get done in less time—and without feeling like you’re pushing so hard.

Stronger Resilience: You’ll handle challenges with way more calm and clarity, making it so much easier to bounce back and keep moving forward.

Improved Physical Health: When you reduce stress and lean into those good vibes, you might notice your body feels lighter, healthier, and way more energized. I often feel tingly all over.

Greater Abundance: When your thoughts and feelings are in sync, you’ll start noticing opportunities and resources popping up that are perfectly aligned with your goals.

Deeper Joy in Daily Life: Even the little moments start to feel magical when you’re tuned into your emotions and what you really want.

Your Eternal Self
Before we dive into using your emotions, we need to pull right back and discuss your eternal self, because understanding this part is really important.

So imagine if you will, that You are pure, positive energy. You are conscious in the non-physical realm.

I like to imagine myself as floating in space, weightless, doing somersaults, just floating around without a thing to worry about, without any goals, any issues, any fears, just having a lovely time.

And while You are in the non-physical realm, you project a small part of your consciousness into a human baby who is growing in the womb.

So you now exist in two places and have two different points of view: Non-physical and physical. And the most important relationship you have is between these two versions of you and how they interact with each other.

Abraham refers to the non physical version of you as your Inner Being but you can also use source or soul if that feels better for you.

The human part of you experiences the world and deciphers things that could improve.

You constantly have thoughts about what you don’t want and when this happens you create a desire for what you do want.

Abraham refers to these improvements you’d like to experience as rockets of desire.

And whenever you have a rocket of desire, your Inner Being focuses on becoming it and expands to this new and improved self. It becomes the vibrational equivalent of whatever the human you is asking for.

Then your inner being calls your human self towards it to complete that desire and this makes you feel passionate or enthusiastic about making it happen.

And now, you have the option of aligning with this new desire or resisting it.

You can choose to let yourself join that newly expanded version.

Or you can choose to resist it.

And the way you feel will determine if you’re allowing or resisting.

I appreciate that you may need to listen to that again to let it sink in.

Letting Your Feelings Be Your Guide

Your emotions are like your built-in GPS, steering you toward alignment between your physical self and your inner being (or higher self, if you prefer).

When your thoughts, feelings, and focus line up with that inner perspective, you feel emotions like joy, love, and peace.

That’s your signal that you’re fully in sync and moving toward the growth and expansion your inner being is nudging you toward.

But when there’s a disconnect—when you’re stuck in thoughts about lack, doubt, or resistance—you feel it in the form of frustration, worry, or just feeling off. Those feelings aren’t there to punish you (even though it can feel that way sometimes!). They’re just your inner being’s  way of saying, “Hey, this isn’t the vibe—let’s recalibrate.”

Here’s the kicker:

Feeling good isn’t about doing more or forcing things to happen.

It’s about shifting your thoughts to match the perspective of your inner self.

And when you do that, you naturally line up with the abundance, joy, and opportunities that are already waiting for you.

Now, here’s where I personally get stuck:

If I’m not seeing progress on a goal fast enough, my instinct is to go into overdrive.

I start brainstorming all the things I can do, pushing harder, and basically trying to force the outcome.

But that almost always backfires. I end up exhausted, frustrated, and either falling short of my goal or hitting it and feeling too drained to enjoy the win.

What I’ve learned (and have to keep reminding myself) is this:

when you focus on what excites you—on the outcome you want instead of the mess you’re trying to escape —you’ll start to notice little nudges of inspiration. These ideas feel light, easy, and even fun. And when you take action from that place? It doesn’t feel like effort. It feels like flow.

You Don’t Have to Live in a Constant State of Bliss
If you’re feeling some discomfort, all you have to do is aim to feel some relief.

I was, well,  ‘relieved’ when I read this because for the longest time, I thought that the reason I wasn’t getting the results I desired was because I wasn’t able to maintain a constant feeling of happiness, joy and excitement.

I couldn’t jump from Fear all the way to excitement or Joy and so I thought I must be doing it wrong and that I’d never get what I desired.

So I was pleased to learn that when I’m experiencing something difficult, I can aim to just find a thought that allows me to feel some relief, and this is a start to turning things around.

And what I love about this is, it’s not loud, or expensive, or time consuming, it’s subtle and no one will even know you’re doing it, but you’ll feel better and get better results.

Sometimes it will be harder than others (like when someone really triggers you) but I reckon it’s worth it.

The Law of Allowing
Most of us push. We work hard, we have a constant flow of ideas pinging around our head and we prioritize anything over sitting still or spending a few minutes in meditation.

We created robots to do jobs like wash and dry our clothes or our dishes, and instead of sitting back and relaxing while these machines do our work for us, we spend that time doing more stuff.

And we rarely allow ourselves to take it easy.

So I like the analogy of the Stream of Life that Abraham uses because it’s a simple way to explain how we can reach our desires faster and with more ease.

Imagine that you’re in a canoe on a river and that you’re trying hard to paddle upstream.

That’s the effect Negative thoughts and therefore negative feelings have. They point you up stream where you struggle and get further from your desires.

And now imagine that you turn the canoe around, pull the oars back inside and allow yourself to float downstream with the current.

That’s the effect good thoughts and feelings have. They point you down stream where you allow movement towards your expanded self, that version of you who already has what you desire. You flow downstream towards what you want.

The stream allows you to close the gap between the physical you and the expanded soul version of you.

Now here’s the rub.
Ok You’ve got this! You’re focusing on downstream thoughts and feelings, and you’re ready for those desires to flow into your life—like, yesterday!

But Abraham reminds us, “When you feel an urgency to be somewhere else, you are pushing hard against where you are. That is upstream.”

Frustrating, right?

It’s like, “Okay, I get it, I’m doing the work, let’s go!”

But then, when my desires don’t show up within a few days, I catch myself thinking, “Am I missing something? Am I doing it wrong?”

Sound familiar?

And let’s not even get started on those thoughts like, “It’s working for her, so why isn’t it working for me?”

Here’s the thing: it’s not about comparing ourselves to others. That’s a recipe for upstream thoughts.

The real work is in comparing our human selves to our inner being—that part of us that’s already living in trust, abundance, and joy.

That relationship is always the most important one, and it’s where the magic of alignment happens.

Here’s what I’m doing, and you’re welcome to join me…

While this isn’t addressed in the book, I think that my frustration can only be counteracted by allowing myself to be still. It’s why I’m setting my timer and being still for 10 minutes a day.

I like to imagine that the spot between my eyes, my third eye chakra is like a clear glass of still water, and I try to focus on that stillness and not pay attention to the many thoughts flitting through my mind.

I’ve learned to just redirect myself back to that stillness and acknowledge that I’ll probably never clear all the thoughts.

And when my timer goes off, I always feel so calm. It’s lovely.

My theory is that:

If I’m clear on what I want

And I aim for continuous thoughts and feelings that point me downstream

And I allow myself to be still and train my brain and nervous system to be calm as a way of staying out of frustration and my natural inclination to hurry and push

Then not only will I get to my desires faster but I will truly appreciate them so much more.

And, if nothing else, I’ll feel calmer, clearer and happier on a daily basis so I can’t really lose.

Are you with me?

Closing thoughts

I hope you’re starting to understand that we make things so much harder than we need to by thinking crappy thoughts and having crappy feelings and hoping that one day we’ll get our desires.

But if we can just make incremental improvements in the way we think and therefore feel, we’ll feel better in the moment AND get to our desires that much quicker.

Yes it goes against what we’ve been taught and conditioned to believe but I think it’s worth exploring.

Do you?

Earlier, I listed some benefits you may experience from applying this to your life and business.

So no matter what you want to improve, be it your relationships, creativity, decision-making, productivity, resilience, physical health, abundance, joy,

What’s one small thought you can shift today to start feeling better and pointing your canoe downstream?

 
Often, we’re not even aware of the thoughts holding us back

That’s where having a coach can be a total game-changer.

A coach helps you spot the patterns keeping you stuck and guides you toward clarity, growth, and alignment.
If this resonates with you, let’s explore how we can work together to help you reach your goals faster—and with so much more ease and joy.